Blessing
by bluemonkey10
Summary: Rose stood there and stared at the spot where the TARDIS had been. The TARDIS with the Doctor, her Doctor, disappeaing out of her life for good...and then she realised she was holding the wrong Doctor's hand... One-shot AU


Rose stood there and stared at the spot where the TARDIS had been. The TARDIS with the Doctor. Her Doctor. The Doctor she'd spent months and months desperately trying to find a way back to… disappearing out her life for good, without even so much as a goodbye.

Forever.

And it was then that she knew that she was holding the wrong Doctor's hand.

She thought about all that she'd been offered here. An ordinary, human life, a future full of happiness, a marriage, children, a mortgage, a family… the little human life the Doctor could never give her himself. The one adventure he could never have.

Except… did she really want it?

Rose pulled her hand back and, wiping at her eyes, numbly turned around. She knew then. She knew what she wanted.

"I can't…" she croaked, beginning to shake as more tears fell.

"Oh sweetheart." Jackie ran forward, enveloping her daughter in a hug.

"Mum, I–"

"Shh…" Jackie squeezed tightly, rubbing Rose's back as tears wet her shoulder, her daughter's muffled sobs intermittent with rushed explanations.

Jackie knew what was coming. She'd guessed what Rose was going to say even before the Doctor had vanished through the TARDIS door. He thought it was oh so simple. But he hadn't seen Rose.

He hadn't seen what Rose had been like when he'd left last time on this godforsaken beach. He hadn't had to live with her afterwards. Rose had just shut down. After she had first been trapped in Pete's world, she hardly spoke to anyone, refused to eat, refused to sleep. Had been practically catatonic half the time. Then she'd just sunk lower and lower. She wouldn't leave the house, then her bedroom, only coming down for meals – and that was if Pete could manage to persuade her. She just wouldn't do anything. Wouldn't move on, wouldn't live her life. Wouldn't even try.

Not without the Doctor.

But then Torchwood had begun work on the Dimension Cannon, and workaholic didn't even begin to cover how Rose had been then. Any, even the slightest of chances, that it would work and she would be able to get back to the Doctor, had seemed to bring her back again with a vengeance, and she had thrown herself into it. Her life had seemed to be consumed by that bloody Cannon for months on end. She would stay up all night, even when everyone else had gone home, talking to the machine, praying for it to work, to take her home again, back to her Doctor.

And then the stars had started going out. Then it had started to work, and Jackie could just tell that her daughter was properly back, and she knew that if Rose ever found the Doctor again that her daughter would never ever _ever_ let him go, not for anything… and she knew she would be able to do nothing to stop her. Nothing in the universe could.

Jackie pulled back and looked her daughter right in the eye. "Rose, you do what you think. Okay luv?"

Rose sniffed and nodded, a determined, watery smile. "I've gotta go," she said, as much as she hated to say it. Jackie saw into her eyes that this was it. She managed a smile, but inside she was crying. No mother likes to see her daughter move on and leave home, let alone off to a different universe. But all Jackie hoped was that Rose would be safe with him. Safe, and happy.

Rose turned back to the Doctor. The other Doctor. She knew she was going to hate this even more, if anything could be worse than saying goodbye to your mother, but all he did was nod.

"I know," he said softly, stepping forward.

"I mean, I can't leave him. I'm-I'm sorry…" she was gabbling, she knew, not listening, and she couldn't hold back the floods of tears then.

"Rose. _Rose._" The Doctor stepped closer to face her. "Rose Tyler." He smiled and cupped her cheeks in his hands, gently brushing the tears with a thumb and shushing her. "I love you," he said, "Please believe that. But… I want you to be happy, and I know that I'm…while I have the same thoughts and memories and feeling that, well, that I'm…"

He trailed off and Rose looked up into his familiar deep brown eyes, and there it was. Understanding…and maybe, just maybe, a glimmer of forgiveness. Rose was surprised, and thankful, and she knew she was being selfish for wanting more. She would have had the perfect life, here with the Doctor that told her he loved her and would grow old at the same time as her. But she knew it could never be right. Not really.

"You're not the man I fell in love with," she finished, and he simply nodded. Because he knew it too.

Rose put a hand to her face, laughing through the tears. "We could have had such a great life," she said, her eyes welling with guilt and regret.

The Doctor nodded. "Yeah. But…" he took her hand, "a fantastic life, wasn't that what I said? Rose Tyler…" he squeezed her hand, and with one sentence Rose knew he was giving her his blessing, "you go have a fantastic life."

Her heart tightened in her chest, and brushing aside the hair that was blowing across her wet cheeks, she whispered, shaking her head, "What will you do…?"

The Doctor looked round and sniffed. "Oh, same old life, last of the Timelord-human metacrisis." He grinned, the corners of his eyes wrinkling just like his original counterpart as he watched Rose fall back into tears, and he scooped her up in his arms. "Oh, Rose!"

Rose hugged back tight, burying her face in his chest. His blue suit was getting damp, but neither of them cared. The Doctor rested his head on her shoulder, holding her like he never wanted to let her go. But he knew he had too. He would never forgive himself if he didn't.

Rose suddenly felt his hands slid down her back round to her hips. The Doctor pulled back, his hands slipping out of her jacket pockets.

Rose looked down. "What're you–"

She looked up to see him dialling in a number on her mobile phone. He held it up to his ear. "Hello, Torchwood?"

There was a pause from the other end, then– "_D-Doctor?_"

"Lock onto the TARDIS," the Doctor ordered, not looking at Rose.

There was a muffled conversation, then at last a reply of "_Yes sir!_" as at parallel Torchwood Jake started up the Dimension Cannon for the final time.

Rose frowned, as suddenly the Doctor threw the phone to Rose. She caught it on impulse.

"I love you Rose Tyler."

As soon as her fingers closed around the phone the blue light of the teleport immediately enveloped her. The Doctor and Jackie and the beach disappeared… to be replaced by the interior of the TARDIS. Rose looked round, shocked, her mouth open and the metacrisis Doctor's last words still ringing in her ears.

She blinked, trying to take everything in. It had all happened so quickly. She hadn't been able to say goodbye, not properly. Thinking how that must have been how the Doctor had felt last time on Bad Wolf Bay, Rose suddenly caught sight of the Doctor the other side of the console, bent over and holding what looked like an unconscious Donna in his arms. He looked up with tears in his eyes to see Rose.

"Help me," he said. Just two words.

And Rose just nodded, and rushed over to his side.

Where she was determined she was going to stay.


End file.
